Telling a good story helps you connect with others instantly. Learn how to tell better stories, mistakes to avoid, and more storytelling with lessons from Charles Dickens’s writings. Use these techniques to tell sticky stories that people cant get enough of.

Transcript

What’s more magnetic that a good story? We’ve all experienced getting lost in one. Whether it’s being captivated by an on-screen saga or getting lost in a great book, great stories grip us. 

I’m glad you are here because today you’re getting the tools to become a magnetic storyteller.

You might not think of yourself as a storyteller. But you are one. You’re actually telling stories all the time. Recapping a recent trip to a friend, introducing yourself to a new peson, pitching a project at work. But some individuals are stunningly good storytellers. Become one of them,  hone your ability to tell stories and you can form bonds with people instantly. 

Being a skilled storyteller can help you land the role you want in a new industry, attract a romantic interest, win over someone in an argument, and even bring about societal change. 

That’s why, in this episode, I’m bringing you 4 principles to level up your storytelling abilities. I’ll cover what makes a great story, how to unearth good stories when you feel like you don’t have one to tell, and some common storytelling mistakes to avoid. 

Along the way, we’ll be learning from one of history’s greatest storytellers. Let’s meet our wordsmith whose stories have stood the test of time, Charles Dickens. 

Meet Charles Dickens 

Born in England in 1812, Charles John Huffam Dickens would come to be known as the greatest author of the Victorian era. His stories ranged from short comedic tales like the Pickwick Papers to long and complex ones like Great Expectations. 

If you’ve read Dickens, you know his storytelling skills were nothing short of incredible. What makes this even more impressive is that he had no formal training. Get this:  When he was just 12, his father was put in debtor’s prison and Charles was sent to work in a factory. He later returned to school but at the age of 15 left again due to family problems. 

So his education was largely self-taught. Despite his sorry schooling, Dickens wrote multiple novels that are considered classics to this day which is pretty mind-boggling. I mean imagine not even graduating high school and then producing works of art that people in your day clamored for and that modern people still revere/read 200 years later. 

Wow. 

And that’s what a good story does. It speaks to a universal truth, providing a lesson or value that resonates with others. That’s why Dickens is the perfect person to learn from on our quest to tell stories that others find meaningful. 

If you’re ready to tell better stories, let’s hop into lesson one. 

1. Know the story’s purpose. 

Let’s begin at the beginning. Before you set out to tell a story, ask yourself why you’re sharing it. Do you want to help the other person see your point of view? Is it meant to lighten the mood with a laugh? Are you hoping to form a bond? Knowing your why helps you determine what to highlight within a story.  

Dickens, for example, wrote many of his stories to spur social reform. 

When he was a young boy, Dicken’s father was sent to debtor’s prison. He suffered a sharp change in fortune from middle class to poverty. He experienced child labor firsthand, making him attuned to the plight of the poor. So, as a man, he wrote specifically about the mistreatment of poor children in Victorian England. 

In Oliver Twist, Dickens tells the story of the fictional orphan Oliver in order to draw attention to the very real problem of poverty and danger faced by children in that era. With his story, he urged the 19th-century London upper class to not turn a blind eye to the danger and poverty that young poor children experienced. The dark underbelly of London. 

Now, yes, he was a skilled writer who could develop interesting plots. But these didn’t just fall into place. He planned out his stories in detail and knew his why as he wrote. Here’s how you can 

Apply this lesson when storytelling.

So when you set out to tell a story, ask yourself why you’re sharing the information you are.

For example, when I gave a toast at my sister’s wedding, I wanted to start out by showcasing how sweet and caring she is.  

So I told a story about how when we were young and I was sick, she knelt down by my bouncy chair and said a prayer for me and kissed me. I explained how there’s a photo in my baby photo album depicting this, her with wild curls leaning over my pudgy frame. And then I connected it to the present, talking about how she cares for the sick as a nurse today. Don’t worry I mentioned my new brother-in-law in the toast too. 

Okay, but what if you’re not campaigning on behalf of Victorian orphans or delivering a toast that leaves not a dry eye in the house? This still applies. Because you interact with other people every day and can inspire, persuade, and connect with them using you guessed it a good old story or a new one. In his book the Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human, Jonathan Gottschall writes: 

“We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories.” 

If it’s true, that we’re addicted to stories, then being a skilled storyteller is a superpower and one you can possess. Start with knowing your story’s point. 

What if it’s difficult to think of what your story’s purpose is? No worries. Reframe the question. Instead think, what do I want to achieve in this interaction? We all enter into spaces with a goal. At least you should, so you’re not floating around aimlessly. So set your goal and then use your story to support that. 

Once you know your why, you’re ready for lesson 2. (dont say it)

2. Pique Curiosity

Okay, Lesson #2. There’s one thing all good storytellers know how to do. If you can master this one thing- people will hang on your every word. 

That’s to pique your listener’s curiosity. Start with a hook to draw them in. Then, drop bits and pieces of interesting information, hinting that the best is yet to come. 

The point here is to pull someone deeper and deeper in, so they become wrapped up in the outcome. They have to know how the story ends. 

So don’t give it all away at the start. Twist and turns keep stories interesting. Dickens’s novels were serialized, leaving people speculating as to what came next. Each installment left people eager for the following one. There was no keep watching on Netflix button in the Victorian Era so this was top-tier entertainment at the time. 

Misdirection. Plot twists. Purposefully withholding information.  Dickens used these to keep readers hooked. And we can apply these tactics in our conversations. Here’s how: 

Apply this lesson when storytelling.

First, tell a story that has some core point. What makes this story worth sharing? Identify the core point of your story. Once you know this, you’ll know what to drop hints about along the way. 

Second, compose the story in a way that keeps some vital details hidden. When you’re telling a story, you know how it ends and how everything was resolved. But your listener does not. Here’s a quick way to ruin a story- say the core point at the start. This ruins the story your listener now knows how it ends and can tune out. Don’t get ahead of yourself.

Third, like good old Dickens, use some foreshadowing. In other words, hint at what’s to come to keep people engaged. The word choices you use, emphasis on certain words can act as  little signals to build up to the grand reveal. 

Example

A friend of mine once started a story with “Let me tell you about the campaign I worked on that changed my life.” Great hook. Throughout the story, he dropped little hints about the politician, where he grew up, the town where he launched his election bid. Details that gave me pieces but not the whole thing. He also used misdirection, telling me that his first campaign was a disaster which made me think that the candidate was a dud.Then, at the end of the story, he revealed the triumph of the politician and how he won the presidency. 

He waited to name the politician until the very end of the story. 

It helped keep me looped in rather than if he had started with I once worked for someone who went on to become president. So whatever your big moment is, keep it under wraps. 

Stirring up curiosity is effective. But there are more ways to have listeners in a trance. 

Here’s lesson number 3 

3. Use descriptive language to bring your story to life 

When you tell a story, think of yourself as the author. Because… well, you are. You decide how to frame the story, the mood you want to create, and the feelings you want to evoke. And one powerful tool that helps you achieve this is your word choice. 

Charles Dickens excelled in painting a captivating picture for his readers. He described characters in a way that is so memorable, you get an instant picture of them in your mind. In A Christmas Carol, for example, here’s his description of Scrooge:

“a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint… secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster.”

Using descriptive words to highlight the personality traits or physical attributes of people in our stories helps adds dimension. We can do this when speaking.

For instance, if you’re telling a story that involves how your impressively athletic friend saved a little kid from drowning, then tying in descriptions of her would make it memorable. She runs over to the edge, I see her rock-solid calves leap into the water as she jumps in and swims out to him.

Dickens also did this with landscapes making you feel like you’re immersed in them. This passage from Bleak House, for example, is a treasure trove of vivid language that paints a setting that sticks in the mind: 

“Implacable November weather. As much mud in the streets as if the waters had but newly retired from the face of the earth, and it would not be wonderful to meet a Megalosaurus, forty feet long or so, waddling like an elephantine lizard up Holborn Hill. Smoke lowering down from chimney pots, making a soft black drizzle, with flakes of soot in it as big as full-grown snowflakes—gone into mourning, one might imagine, for the death of the sun. “

Now Dickens used the fog and gloom in Bleak House to mirror how unclear matters are and signal the state of confusion the characters are in. It sets the tone for the reader. We can take this written lesson and use it in our spoken storytelling. Here’s how we can 

Apply this lesson when storytelling 

Use words as a tool to create a desired mood.

This requires us to think about what we want to convey to the listener. It ties back into point 1, knowing your story’s purpose but we’re going a level deeper now and thinking about how we want to make the listener feel. 

Say you’re telling a story about how you ran a marathon. You might use words like grueling, and intense, and then build up a picture of the mental and physical struggle you faced. What doubts plagued you? What burning sensation did you feel in your legs as you continue on? Oh and what about the elation you felt as you saw the finish line? This is a non runners take on how one might describe running so maybe the details in my example are off. Im not running 26 miles as part of my podcast research okay. The point here is to make someone feel immersed in your story – simply with powerful words. 

In some stories, the setting is an integral part. For instance, a friend of mine was telling me how she met a fun group of people while on a boat excursion in Hawaii. So she weaved in notes about the boat and its layout. She described its layout and how big it was so I could imagine how close in proximity she was to all the others on deck. Her setting details brought it to life. 

In others, the attributes of the people in the story or the actions they take will be the focus. So in this case, your descriptions should focus on them. 

All the lessons to this point have been part of an effort to help you tell sticky stories. Sticky stories are those that engage your listener AND remain in their mind. So it’s interesting and memorable. While each lesson is important, lesson 4 is an especially vital element for telling sticky stories. It’s to 

4. Appeal to emotions 

Going back to that quote about how we are addicted to stories. Why is that? One reason is that stories, good stories, speak to universal emotions and struggles. 

Keep this in mind the next time you’re storytelling. 

When you share a meaningful story, You’re not talking about yourself only, you’re talking about what it is to be human. The adventure you went on intrigues someone because they too want to feel exhilarated and free. The trial you went through resonates with someone because they understand what it’s like to be swept up in uncertainty and fear. These emotional connections are what make our stories more powerful and persuasive. 

In fact, Aristotle identified Pathos, which is the appeal to emotion, as one of the three pathways to persuade oth ers. So understanding how to elicit emotions when storytelling is a valuable skill. Dickens did this in his writing.  

In Great Expectations, he addresses the struggles of growing up and how upbringing affects self-perception as we grow older. Yes, we could read a published and peer-reviewed journal telling us about this in detail. But we’re not going to. It lacks the emotional power that Dickens creates through Pip, his protagonist. 

Okay application time. Here’s how we can appeal to emotions when storytelling.

Apply this lesson when storytelling 

Share personal stories. 

This is a great way to connect with others and to appeal to specific emotions. When you share something that you’ve gone through, whether it is a triumph or a trial or a mix of both, you’ll discuss the accompanying emotions. It naturally happens. Great storytellers fine-tune this and can have the whole table laughing or crying or getting up in arms alongside them. Speaking of… 

Make it about them. 

If the story is too focused on you and particulars about your life, it can lose its draw. In this case, alternate between yourself and the other person to make it connect with them. For example, say you’re telling a story about how you met one of your favorite celebrities but the person you’re speaking with doesn’t know who they are. While telling the story, you can stop and ask the person- do you have someone who you’d love to meet, someone you would freak out if you saw on the street? Let them answer. Tell them to picture meeting this person and imagine how they would feel. 

Use this to form a parallel to the excitement you felt. Then, you’re getting them to connect with the story. 

Be Vulnerable 

Don’t shy away from emotions and even discomfort. Being vulnerable forms more connections and it applies to positive and negative emotions.  Maybe you’re thrilled about a recent occurrence. Don’t tamper it down and act like it’s no big deal. Instead, let your emotion be contagious as you describe what happened. 

Maybe something painful occurred.  But you’ve worked through it. Share this challenge. Glossing over the trials can make stories one-dimensional and less emotionally impactful. So when you want to connect, lean in. Okay, example time. 

Example Time

Steve Jobs’ commencement speech at Stanford in 2005 is a masterclass in telling meaningful stories. opened by saying “Today I want to tell you 3 stories from my life. No big deal. Just 3 stories”

He then delved into the story of how he was not wanted by his biological mother as an infant, adopted by working-class parents and pushed to attend college only to drop out. He details sleeping on the floor in friend’s dorms, having next to nothing in his bank account, and experimenting with dropping in on different courses, tying it into how it would later influence his development of Macintosh computers. 

In it, he appeals to common feelings of self-doubt, uncertainty, the desire to pursue ones passions, and finding creative freedom. He ties it all into an inspiring message for the graduating class. He shies away from nothing in this speech, even discussing his cancer diagnosis and how he faced death. It’s a pathos-filled and story-filled speech.   

So know your storys purpose, pique curiosity, use descriptive language, and appeal to emotions. You might have to practice just a bit  to get on Dickens’s level. But these lessons should help. 

 What if you don’t know what stories to tell? Now if you feel like you don’t have good stories to tell, your mind just draws a blank, I have 3 quick tactics for you. 

Here’s how to unearth interesing stories in your own life. 

How to Unearth Interesting Stories

1. Reflect on highs and lows

Pivotal moments in life often make for great stories. Consider the times you’ve felt the most energetic, happy, and alive. Conversely, when have you felt the most depleted or hurt? These high and low points are often the makings of a great story. Keeping a journal is helpful for this! 

2. Ask Friends and Family  for Favorite Moments

If you’re fresh out of story ideas, Why not ask relatives and friends for their favorite moments with you? They may spark a memory that you forgot. Or share a perspective on an event you hadn’t thought of. 

3. Create New Ones 

If you’re still strapped for stories, make an effort to do more. Yup that’s the tip. Go out and try new things.  Dickens worked a myriad of jobs from a law office clerk to news reporter to an actor. He drew on this in his own stories. You can take up a new hobby, travel more even if its just a day trip near your city, go to an event you normally wouldn’t, the list goes on. 

So you have your stories. Now for a rapid-fire list of what not to do. Next up, I’ll quickly cover a rapid-fire list of 4 mistakes that you should avoid at all costs. Unless you want people to find you boring. 

StoryTelling Don’ts 

1. DONT Feel the need to be perfect. 

• Share vulnerabilities, don’t polish off the rough edges (all of them at least) because it becomes boring and worse shallow. If there’s no struggle, there may be no depth. If there’s no depth, what am I connecting to/remembering? 

2. DONT Flood the listener with details.

• Just like an author focuses on key details and let’s the reader conjure up the rest of the picture. 
• We’ve all met the person who starts telling us a story about who they saw at the office and 5 minutes in is still talking about the traffic jam on their way to work and the color of the car that was in front of them onthe highway, the light drizzle on the windshield. Don’t be that person.  

3. DONT Think you need to do all the talking

• When telling a story, yes you’re the main one speaking but you can make it conversational. You can bounce back and forth, asking the listener questions, taking pauses, letting them ask questions. Don’t feel pressure to perform as if youre on stage and its a one way conversation.

4. DONT Meander Aimlessly 

• A starting point, a middle, and an ending point. All stories have these. This is tied in with lesson 1-know your purpose. 
• The purpose of this episode is to empower you to be a better storyteller. I could have veered off into a thousand tangents but you’d lose interest. I stuck to how to be a storyteller-what to do and what not to do. Hope you liked it!

Thanks for listening. If you liked the episode, please give it a review. And subscribe to the show for more insights on leveling up your communication skills. Put these lessons into practice and keep sharing your stories. Talk soon, conversation companions!